Sooo...I am having one of those better days. Its not so much fun being me I think. This whole relationship crap I always so longed for is not all bunny ears, I get that now. But really? THIS much stuff? I feel like I am going crazy. There are days when I hate this guy, I want to be far far away from him and just quit on dealing with all this stuff. And there are days I feel like I like him so much that my chest cannot even fit all the emotions in, its overflowing, its just strangling me. And all of the sudden things change again and he gets mean and vicious and it hurts and I get sad and cry and cannot carry on...and the next thing you know, he is the best guy I have ever met and he is the sweetest, most beautiful creature on earth and I just want to eat him alive.
This stuff is pretty fucked up if you ask me.
But today I am not complaining. Today I will be sleeping in his bed, so all the fear will wait outside the door...today it wont matter that he is STILL writing to all those girls on a dating site...or that he really actually wants someone who does look NOTHING like me...all that will come back when he is gone again..
I wish I could tell what is he really feeling, but I guess love is a guessing game.
I just know I like him way too much.
This stuff is pretty fucked up if you ask me.
But today I am not complaining. Today I will be sleeping in his bed, so all the fear will wait outside the door...today it wont matter that he is STILL writing to all those girls on a dating site...or that he really actually wants someone who does look NOTHING like me...all that will come back when he is gone again..
I wish I could tell what is he really feeling, but I guess love is a guessing game.
I just know I like him way too much.
