Sad

How can i not be grumpy when I am frustrated? Does a woman want so much? just a little bit of assurance, little bit of sweet talk, little lie here and there to give her the feeling that she really doesnt smell like donkey farts and that you will not leave her...

Is that THAT much to ask? Or is it ok to exclude her from your important life, tell her only the basic things and not to be bothered to ask her point of view when a big life change is about to take place...? I dont even know...I just feel so alone.

I am sad...so so sad that I want to lie own and cry. But I cant, its not permitted to cry. When you cry you are considered weak...and a psycho...and people around you are worried and talk to their mothers...so its better not to cry and be mean a harmful instead. Bite and scratch and feel worse and worse. When simple hug would make everything better....

I feel like a toddler who got to hold a lolly for a minute and now they took it away...they keep it on the shelf where it can be seen but not reached and every time the toddler cries they slap his hands...

When  this toddler grows up, he will deal with stuff with flamethrower... I assure you.