Separation

Its been a year...yesterday it has been an official year since I fell in love with this awesome guy. This year wasnt easy and I would never imagine that relationships are so hard. Truth is, that our situation is pretty difficult on its own - with me being a foreigner, with everyone asking me is I am dating him just for a green card, with us living over an hour apart, with me being so far away from my friends and family...all that and more did not help anything..But we made it.

Strange is, that for the first time in a year, it was yesterday when I really thought about going separate ways. Never before I gave it a thought. I have always thought it was my fault and was scared of loosing him to my inadequate security..but yesterday for the first time I thought that maybe he was right and this whole relationship is wrong. Maybe we do not belong. But how can I know?

I would give up anything just to make this work, and I have. I love him like I never thought is possible to love a person. But I am not sure anymore. He doesnt share with me. He shares with his friends. If I am doing something strange, doesnt question me, but runs to other people for support and than thinks I am crazy..He doesnt try to fit our lifes together, but tries to fit me into his life. And I am not sure I want that.

What can I do more? I am faithful, loyal, honest and upfront..I care..I am here...and  try to understand..but it is never enough...